A musical ear

"If you develop an ear for sounds that are musical it is like developing an ego. You begin to refuse sounds that are not musical and that way cut yourself off from a good deal of experience."

- John Cage

Happiness

"If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive."

- Samuel Goldwyn

"'Who are you and how did you get in here?' 'I'm a locksmith. And, I'm a locksmith.'"

- Leslie Nielsen

Jogging

"The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it."

- Joan Rivers

Heroes

"We can't all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by."

- Will Rogers

Sanity

"The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you."

- Rita Mae Brown

A good sermon

"The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible."

- George Burns

Riches

"No matter how rich you become, how famous or powerful, when you die the size of your funeral will still pretty much depend on the weather."

- Michael Pritchard

Speed of light

"It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off."

- Woody Allen

Criticism

"If you are not criticized, you may not be doing much."

- Donald Rumsfeld

Administration

"The Spiritual ‘gift of administration’ is the ability to turn God-given vision into reality. The word administration comes from the Latin and literally means ‘to’ (ad) ‘minister’. To administer is to do ministry. This role is so essential that Paul lists it as one of the crucial gifts for building up the church – the Spirit equips us with the ability to make things happen, to get the stuff of church-life done. So let’s not belittle it – it is a hugely important gift and an active part of what the Holy Spirit is doing in our midst."

- Al Gordon

'Yes but'

"When people say, ‘yes but’, no-one hears the ‘yes’."

- John Maxwell - courtesy of Stew!

The Internet

"We've heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could produce the complete works of Shakespeare; now, thanks to the Internet, we know that is not true."

- Robert Wilensky